watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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