sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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