I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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