He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
