from now on my penis is your penis
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
