my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
