After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My life is pants optional.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
