And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
