i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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