she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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