He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
