the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
