Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
