my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
