Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
