direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
