When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
