Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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