We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
