i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize