My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
