remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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