All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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