Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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