some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
