Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
