with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
