I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
