Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
