you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
