Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
