BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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