scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Pooping to opera.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
