Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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