T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
