Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
