I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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