I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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