You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just cropdusted the office
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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