their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
