I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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