no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
