we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
