My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
