I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
