Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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