Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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