R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
