i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
