goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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