you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize