Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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