If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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