I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize