i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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