I smell stomach acid.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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