It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
