I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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