You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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