pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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