by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
