please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
