I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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