Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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