Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
