every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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