I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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