Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
