im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
