Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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