i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
operation have a gay friend backfired
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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