My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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