Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize