roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
