Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
